Sticks and Stones
by iloveromance
Summary: Meeting Mel Karnofsky for the first time rubs Daphne the wrong way and in her drunken state, Daphne hurts Niles deeply. But when she attempts to make amends, she learns something about her friend that she never thought possible. An AU continuation of a scene in "Whine Club" which contains dialogue from the episode. Birthday story for Kristen3
1. Chapter 1

The room swayed back and forth as Daphne finished off her Bloody Mary and poured another. It was funny, the way they tasted better and better with each sip. The phone in hand, she dizzily attempted to dial the number to the Elliot Bay Pizza Company, but the buttons on the phone wouldn't stay still. And when she finally managed to push all seven numbers the phone rang repeatedly before she was greeted with the familiar, albeit obnoxious greeting to _please hold for a few moments_.

"A few moments my-Don't they know anything about running a business?" She grumbled. Why, she could run a pizza company better than they could! And she had a right mind to start her own! Of course at that moment she definitely wasn't in the right frame of mind to do anything, let alone start her own business. Best to leave that to the professionals, however loosely the term was used.

As she listened to the irritating classical music, she was reminded of Frasier and Niles and their insistence that classical music was better than anything else in the world. But it simply wasn't true. If anything, Billy Joel was the ultimate in classical music. She didn't care what the Crane brothers said.

Bloody hell, how is anyone supposed to order a pizza when they were forced to listen to music like this?

Well, there was nothing she could do about it now, except wait. And what better way to pass the time than with another Bloody Mary? She knew that Frasier and Martin would protest but what else could she do? She wanted a pizza and she certainly couldn't drive in her intoxicated state. And besides, she had no idea how to get there in the first place.

And so she stayed in the kitchen content to enjoy her drink.

The door slammed shut, making her jump in surprise. The sound was like a gunshot, shaking her already rattled nerves. She peered out of the kitchen to find Niles walking into the condo alone, which brought an overwhelming sense of relief. Thank God his new girlfriend, Mel was gone. From the moment they'd been introduced, Daphne loathed the woman and from the looks of Roz, Frasier and Martin, she wasn't alone. Even Eddie disliked her.

Why Niles insisted on throwing a brunch in Mel's honor was mind-boggling. The woman practically took over, which included telling Roz what food to make. The fact that Mel's 'beeper' had gone off was nothing short of a godsend.

"Well, it's a shame that Mel had to leave." Niles was saying now.

"Um, yeah." Frasier said half-heartedly. "And we were having such a good time."

"Yeah, Niles." Martin said, in the same uninterested tone.

Niles made himself comfortable on the sofa and smiled. "You know, I was nervous bringing her over here."

Everyone laughed at his comment as though it was the most ridiculous thing they'd ever heard.

"Why, Dr. Crane?" Daphne called from the kitchen. She was only making polite conversation for she knew that everyone was happier that the witch was finally gone. But who was Daphne to say what she felt? According to Mel, she was just a maid.

"Well, I was concerned about what you'd think, you know?" Niles continued. "Getting to really know her for the first time."  
No one said a word and instead exchanged awkward glances.

"So?" Niles continued. "What did you think of Mel?"

Roz sprang from her chair. "I'm going to let Eddie in."

Niles watched her, perplexed. "Eddie? But he's right-."

Roz opened the door to the balcony and smiled "Go on, Eddie! Go outside! Be a good boy!"

The dog did as she asked and then seconds later, she opened the door and let him back in.

"Come on, seriously." Niles said. "What did you think of Mel? I want you to be totally honest."

The room was deathly silent and at that moment, Daphne emerged from the kitchen, the phone still in her hand.

"Tell me, what did you think of Mel?" Niles asked.

"Oh, I don't like her at all!" Daphne slurred. "She's bossy and fussy and mean! She's all wrong for you!" And miraculously at that moment, the phone was answered. "Yes, I'd like a large pepperoni pizza and some cheese bread!"

And with that she turned and headed back to the kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm sure she didn't mean that, Niles." Martin said.

"Of course I meant it!" Daphne yelled. "I hate her! She's a horrid woman and I hope she never sets foot in this house again!"

"Well that's startling." Niles said.

"Don't take it seriously Niles." Frasier said reassuringly. "Sometimes women just don't like one another."

"Oh, did you tell him what I thought about Mel too?"

"Roz-."

"It's all right." She said, rising unsteadily from her chair. "I don't have anything to hide. She's pushy, demanding and a real pain in the ass! I'd dump her like toxic waste!"

"Ah…" Niles said. "So that makes two of you in the anti-Mel camp."

"Well I'm glad you told him what you thought of her, Frasier." Roz said.

"A-actually I haven't given my opinion yet, Roz." Frasier replied. "Daphne gave hers."

"Oops…" Roz said, quickly retreating into the kitchen.

But Daphne found the entire situation curious. She had to know why Niles was so infatuated with this woman. And so she stood at the kitchen doorway, watching the Crane brothers. Niles was clearly upset, but she knew that Frasier would help him see what a witch Mel was.

"Frasier?"

"I… I just think she's Maris all over again." Frasier replied. "She's manipulative and … well, I just think you're repeating a terrible pattern."

"I see…" Niles replied. "Isn't this neat? It seems that we all have our reasons for disliking the woman I love."

"Love, Niles? You can't be serious!" Frasier said. "You've only just started seeing each other!"

"Thank you, Dr. Crane." Niles said. "But aren't you the one who says that the heart never lies?"

Frasier said nothing but looked away. And then Niles turned to Martin, who was walking into the living room. "Hey Dad, what's your reason for disliking Mel?"

Martin feigned surprise. "What? I never said anything about her!"

Daphne laughed and the sound seemed foreign to her own ears. "Bloody hell, how can you just stand there and lie to your son like that?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, eying her suspiciously.

"You know exactly what it means"! Daphne replied, steadying herself by holding onto the table. "You said she was worse than Lilith and Maris put together. If that's not an insult I don't know what is!"

"Daphne-."

"Don't deny it, Mr. Crane! You were going on and on and-."

"Daphne, knock it off!" Martin yelled.

"Well, you were just being honest, Mr. Crane! And so was I!"

"She's crazy, Niles! I don't know what she's talking about!" Martin said.

Niles rose from the sofa and crossed the living room to put on his coat.

"Niles, where are you going?" Frasier demanded.

"Somewhere that isn't here!" Niles replied.

"Niles, I'm sorry, I-."

"No, no. That's all right. I asked you all to be honest and you were." He removed his coat from the hook and slipped it on. "I got my answer. But you know what would have been nice? Is if one of you could have found one nice thing to say about her!"

Without another word, he walked to the door and slammed it shut. The force was so hard that a picture fell from the wall and shattered onto the floor. But amazingly no one moved a muscle. Once again the room was eerily silent as everyone exchanged looks of guilt. However before anyone could speak, the door opened again.

"Daphne?"

She looked up to see Niles holding a pizza box and a brown paper bag. Wordlessly Frasier went to the door and pulled out some money handing it to the man standing next to Niles. But Daphne could only eye the pizza box and bag in confusion. She was definitely drunker than she thought.

"What's this?"

"It's your damn pizza!" Niles said, shoving the box at her. "I hope you enjoy it!"

His face was blurry but she could tell that he was angry. No, furious. In an effort to diffuse his anger, she smiled and took the box and bag from him. "Would you like to stay and have some pizza and cheese bread with me?"

Even in her intoxicated state, she could see the looks of horror her request received.

"Daphne now is not the time-."

"Oh shut up Frasier! You don' know what time is!" She snapped.

Whoa… where had that come from? And what did it mean?

But when she turned to Niles, she could see the fire in his eyes. "Dr. Crane? You never answered my question."

He turned and walked out of the condo, slamming the door even harder this time. And when Daphne looked at Frasier, Martin and Roz she knew they were thinking the same thing that she was thinking.

Niles might not ever return.


	3. Chapter 3

"Well, that was a… morning shot to hell." Roz slurred. "And on that lame note, I'm leaving." She picked up her purse and staggered toward the door.

"Roz, are you sure you're okay to drive?" Frasier asked, gently grabbing her arm. "You look-."

"She's drunk!" Martin said, glancing away briefly from his television program. "It doesn't take a psychiatrist to see that! And Daphne's drunk too!"

"So what if I'm… drunk?" Roz snapped. "It beats putting up with Mel's crap!"

"Oh Lord, we really hurt Niles, didn't we?" Frasier asked, shaking his head.

"Niles, what about us?" Roz retorted. "He deserves it, making us put up with her for an entire morning! She makes Maris look like-."

"A s…saint!" Daphne finished as she staggered into the living room. "Well, Maris certainly has the complexion to be a saint! She's white as a ghost!"

"That's for sure." Martin grumbled.

"Anyone for pizza and cheese bread?" Daphne asked.

"NO!" everyone replied. This made her smile.

"Well, more for me, then! I don't suppose anyone is going to want another Bloody Mary, either?"

"No, help yourself, Daphne." Frasier grumbled.

"Oh, don't mind if I do!" Daphne said cheerfully. It was the best thing that Frasier had said all day.

Martin turned to Frasier in concern. "Fras, are you sure she should keep drinking those? She's had what, like five so far?"

"Six!" Daphne said, downing yet another drink. "On to me seventh! Oh, lucky number!"

"She'll be fine." Frasier reassured his father. "Just keep an eye on her, will ya? I'm going to take Roz home."

Roz turned to him in astonishment. "Home? What in the hell for? Let's go to a bar!"

"Roz-."

"Look, I can get home by myself, okay? I whoa!" Roz yelled, nearly losing her balance. "Eddie, watch where you're going, will ya?"

Frasier sighed and took her arm. "Come on Roz, let's go home."

"Bye Roz!" Daphne waved from the kitchen. She was barely aware of the happenings around her and was much more content to consume her pizza and cheese bread.

But Martin wasn't amused. "Daphne, how can you eat that? Ugh, I'm sick to my stomach from that crap that Roz made!"

"Well, I'm hungry!" Daphne said with a mouthful of pizza.

Martin winced at the sight of her. "And I'm disgusted! And I wasted good sleep for this! The hell with it! I'm going back to bed! You gonna be all right, Daphne?"

"Mmm Hmmm." Daphne mumbled, still munching on her pizza.

Not long after Martin and Eddie left the living room, Daphne noticed with disappointment that the pizza was gone. But then she shrugged.

"No worries. I'll just eat me cheese bread!"

But soon that was gone as well. The dizziness however was not. And then came the headache.

"I think I need to lie down." She said to the empty living room.

Somehow she managed to stagger into the hallway and into her bedroom. The room swayed back and forth, but she tumbled into bed, falling asleep almost as her head hit the pillow as the room spun around and around.


	4. Chapter 4

The morning was not kind to Daphne, nor was it even civil. When the alcohol had worn off, it was replaced by unbearable nausea and a headache that she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy. She groaned, opening her eyes as the light bore down on her, making her wince. What day was it? How could it be morning again? when she looked at her alarm clock it read Monday. But that was impossible! What had happened to Sunday?

Oh God, what had happened to make her feel so horrible?

But when her stomach turned and then lurched, she bolted out of bed, ever so grateful for the bathroom that she could call her own. And moments later her stomach empty, she felt worse than before. Perhaps some of her Grammy Moon's secret stomach remedy would help.

Wearily she pulled on her robe and clinched the belt tightly, padding into the living room. Almost immediately Martin looked up, frowning at the sight of her.

"What's wrong?"

"You look like hell, that's what wrong!" he said, mincing no words. But his words were loud, making her head pound even louder than before.

"I-I'm fine." She lied. "I'm just… going into the kitchen to-."

Unexpectedly she stumbled, surprised when Martin shot from his chair to catch her. "Come on now, we can't have you getting hurt. Frasier would kill me! Let me help you. Can I get you anything?"

"Oh… I feel a bit sick. I think I need some of me Grammy Moon's secret stomach remedy." With his arm around her waist, they walked into the kitchen where she dizzily began rummaging through the cabinets. But even the slightest sound of the doors opening and closing were wreaking havoc on her nerves, to say nothing about what it was doing to her stomach.

She started to look for the recipe again, but she felt him steer her out of the kitchen, making her stomach sway once more. "Here, sit in my chair. I'll get it."

Had she not felt so dreadful, she might have kissed him. It was the first time he'd offered her his chair and she knew what a monumental sign it was. They were growing closer, albeit in a strange sort of way. She practically collapsed into the chair and seconds later her eyes closed, causing the room to sway and spin. But for the moment, the nausea was under control. If she just didn't think about it, perhaps it would go away all together. In the kitchen, she could hear him banging things around, looking for the recipe that Daphne so desperately needed.

"Check the top drawer!" She said weakly.

Seconds later the noise stopped and she saw Martin standing next to her. The recipe in his hand, he gave her a disgusted look. "Daphne, are you sure you really want to drink-."

"Yes, all of it! Just put the ingredients into a blender, turn it on for one minute and pour it into a glass!" She moaned.

"But this-."

"Just do it, please! Just-Oh God..." It was too late for Grammy Moon's recipe. She put her hand over her mouth and sprang from Martin's chair racing to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, her stomach muscles aching, she emerged from the bathroom, feeling like death warmed over and little recollection of why and how this had happened.

"Are you all right?" Martin asked, handing her a towel.

She wiped her mouth, trying unsuccessfully to smile at his concern. "No... I feel bloody awful! I must be coming down with something."

To her horror, Martin began to laugh… loudly. Hadn't she been through enough torture for one day? Her head was still banging, even more so now.

"What's so bloody funny? How can you be so amused at my illness! I wouldn't laugh at you, old man!"

"You're not sick, Daphne. You're hung over!" He laughed.

"What? That's ridiculous! I'm not-."

"Does the name _Mel Karnofksy_ ring a bell?"

"Of course. She's Dr. Crane's-."

"How about brunch and bloody Mary's''? You sure had enough of them! I lost count after seven!"

Daphne's eyes widened. "_Seven_ bloody Mary's? I would never-."

"Well maybe not normally but it's the God's honest truth! And to be honest I can't blame you. What Niles sees in that woman is beyond me! She's worse than Lilith and Maris combined! I'd rather be intoxicated than to have to put up with Mel's crap! But Niles seems to care about her, so I guess we shouldn't have been so honest. But hell, he brought it on himself, insisting on our honest opinions. Next time I'm keeping my mouth shut! Oh, that's right! _I did_! _You're_ the one who-."

Daphne's head rose. "What? What, Mr. Crane? What happened? I need to know?"

"I don't think you want to know this."

"Know what? Tell me!" She pleaded.

"Well, let's just say that I'd be surprised if Niles ever set foot in this place again."

"Why? What happened?"

"I just gave him my opinion but you-."

"Me? What did I do? Oh God…" Her stomach lurched and she rushed into the bathroom, closing the door.

"Daphne, maybe this isn't a good time to talk about this."

"No, tell me! I have to know! What did I say?" her voice echoed loudly in the small bathroom.

When she was finished, she opened the door to find Martin holding a cup of the grey and brown concoction.

"Here, this smells horrible and I don't even want to think about what it tastes like, so enjoy."

Cringing, she took the cup from him and closed her eyes, bracing herself for the agony she was about to undertake. The horrible tasting liquid slid down her throat, en route to her stomach. And she dared not to move the cup from her lips until every drop was gone. For a moment she was afraid that the drink might not stay down but after only a few minutes, the nausea started to subside. And finally she was able to walk carefully into the living room, grateful that Martin was nearby for support.

Without hesitation she sank into Martin's chair once more, closing her eyes as she groaned.

"I'll get you some ginger ale." He said, turning toward the kitchen. But she stopped him with her hand on his arm.

"Please… tell me what happened."

"Oh man, you really let him have it! You said that Mel was mean and all wrong for him. I completely agree, but Niles wasn't happy at all. He stormed out of here and slammed the door. I've never seen him so mad, not even when he was a kid. Damn shame. I think he's going to be upset about this for a long time. I guess it's best just to let him cool off, because I don't even know-hey, where are you going?"

"I just remembered, there's something I need to do." Daphne said weakly. She'd forgotten all about her sickness and could only think about her friend, the man she'd hurt deeply with her drunken actions. She'd never hurt him, not intentionally.

As she returned to her room, she hurried to change her clothes. She had to find a way to apologize, even if it meant losing her friend forever.


End file.
